The Old Alarm Clock

Traditional

When first I came to London in the year of 'thirty-nine
The city looked so wonderful and the girls were so divine
But the coppers got suspicious and they soon gave me the knock
I was charged with being the owner of an old alarm clock.

Oh next morning down by Marlborough Street I caused no little stir
The IRA were busy and the telephones did bar
Said the judge, I'm going to charge you with the possession of this machine
And I'm also going to charge you with the wearing of the green.

Now says I to him , Your Honour, if you'll give me half a chance
I'll show you how my small machine can make the peelers dance
It ticks away politely till you get an awful shock
And it ticks away the gelignite in my old alarm clock.

Said the judge, Now listen here, my man, and I'll tell you of our plan
For you and I are countrymen I do not give a damn
The only time you'll take is mine - ten years in Dartmoor dock
And you can count it by the ticking of your old alarm clock.

Now this lonely Dartmoor city would put many in the jigs
The cell it isn't pretty and it isn't very big
Sure I'd long ago have left the place if I had only got
My couple of sticks of gelignite and my own alarm clock.